He's Still Working On Me

Before I became a Christian my heart was closed off and calloused.  I was arrogant, prideful and cold. Once I gave my heart to Jesus fully I saw the world through a different lense.  My heart saw people as who really they are...flawed, imperfect, hurting.  I knew then that I wanted to be the light to those struggling in their times of need.  But how does one transform into the person you're being called to be instead of the equally flawed version of the old you?

It's not easy.  It's been 22 years since I made my profession of faith and I'm still evolving, learning and growing into the person I'm being called to be.  So much had happened in my personal life in those years and there were times I'd falter.  My faith has not always been strong.  I questioned so much through the years.  I became bitter and angry during some of the hardest times because I allowed my emotions to rule my decisions. I hated that I felt so deeply and that my heart ached the way it did. I hated loving others when they couldn't love themselves.  

The last 12+ months have really stretched me. It's difficult to admit but I've learned that while my heart is a gift, it's deceitful.   If I could go back to that young immature christian going through the tough struggles, I'd remind her Jesus was with her every step of the way.  In every season and through every heart felt negative emotion, all I needed to do was lean on him more and I would have been given freely the strength, peace & love I was craving during those moments.  Silly girl...   

Thankfully, I'm not the person I once was.  I turn 50 next week and I look forward to the continual transformation of me. I'm still in love with Jesus, still learning to love myself and appreciate the heart he's given me.  I see the beauty in people, beauty they don't even see themselves.  Just remember, it's never too late to return to him.  What's even better than that, we just need to come to him as we are...imperfect, flawed, broken.  

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of simpler times when we were young.  It's like the children's church song says:  

He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth, and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still working on me 

Love you guys!

Kelley