Letting the Chips Fall

I can remember a time as a young woman in my early twenties, I was rigid and inflexible and NEVER open to any type of change or transformation in my life.  I loved my comfort zone and fought tooth and nail to keep everything consistent and steady.  I'd shrink myself to fit in or I would steam roll others to ensure things stayed exactly the way I wanted.  I had to control every single outcome.  It was exhausting.

Now that I'm older, thankfully a little more mature in my view of myself and the world, I have realized that I was hindering my emotional growth and I was simply stuck.   Over the last 10 + years my life has flipped, flopped, twisted and turned so much that I don't even recognize that life or the person I once was. Nothing makes you realize you have no control over the outcomes of situations more than raising kids, a divorce or a death.  

Looking back on those years, I realized I was so far down deep in the trenches fighting to control the battles, I didn't understand that God was breaking me to mold and shape me to be far better than I once was.  I recently read something that helped me understand a few things about myself.  The brightly colored post shared on Tik Tok said  "The woman I am today couldn't have saved the woman I was 10 years ago.  She wasn't ready to Listen.  She needed every lesson, mistake and every hard truth.  She needed to fall, to fail, to hurt and to grow.  Because without those battles, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.  And for the first time in a long time, I'm proud of her."

I know I talk a lot about introspection and I believe it's important we give ourselves the grace to do that.  Just understand that isn't what my life is all about.  I'm not so self centered to think the world revolves around me.  No, no...I know I'm just a small piece of a much bigger puzzle.  But through time spent in my thoughts, I have been able to clearly see the messes, lessons, breaking points and beautiful blessings.  That's what's important. 

Not every season of life is meant to keep you stuck, it may actually be where you become broken so you can move forward.  Not every person is meant to stay.  Not every battle is yours to fight.  

These days I am more of a "let the chips fall where they may" kind of gal.  After all, if God's the one orchestrating their direction, he's going to let them land exactly where they need to be.  

Love you guys!!

Kelley