Picture it...Marion, Ky. It was January 2015... (I'm channeling my inner Sophia Petrillo for you guys). I was 39 years old, married with 3 beautiful sons. In a matter of 30 minutes, everything went pear shaped. My husband of 14 years was no longer in love with me and was moving out.
Now, before I get into this story, just know this isn't a man bashing session. This is how I became the best Mom, Friend and Future Wife I can be. As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. You see folks, I had everything to do with my marriage exploding.
Yes, he left and yes, I was heartbroken, weary, angry and bitter. I was all of those things long before the marriage actually ended. If I'm being totally honest, and that's the whole purpose of this blog, I had emotionally checked out of the marriage years prior. I was never prepared to be a biblical wife. I had no idea what that even meant...biblical wife.
Life is hard on our husbands and we ladies are called to be their peace, calm, support system. We're supposed to create a home environment that feels safe, loving and full of compassion and second chances. Hind site is always 20/20.
There's a lot to unpack and heal from when you find yourself in the season of divorce and breakup. God helped me to truly see myself and that self-reflection almost broke me worse than the actual marriage ending. He showed me that my actions and my inability to respectfully communicate with my spouse in the way he needed amplified his own insecurities he had and ultimately pushed him away.
We both made terrible mistakes. I have to answer for my own and by God's grace and mercy, he's blessed me over the past 11 years. I have healed and I've forgiven myself...finally! God led me to his word and taught me how to be a loving, encouraging, supportive mom to my sons, friend and possibly a future wife. He's allowed me more than AMPLE time to mend the broken pieces, mature and become who I am today. Did I mention he's taught me patience in these last 11 years...😂
And no, I'm not engaged nor do I have a boyfriend. Instead I have a wonderful relationship with my sons, their significant others and an amazing grandson. God blessed my mess. He told me he would and has been more generous than I deserve. Now, if he sees fit to send me a husband, I am not only emotionally prepared but I'm spiritually prepared. I can't say if that'll ever happen because only God knows. Just know that God will always meet you right where you are in that dark season. You only have to talk to him, hold strong to faith and his word. Above all, give yourselves grace, mercy and forgiveness. Once you do that, your real healing begins.
I love you friends and am always here if you need me!
PS there's scripture about biblical husbands, too. Just saying.
PSS I'll put a list of scripture and books I've read to help me heal, learn and grow in the resources section.
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