Many moons ago, when I was about 4 years old, I wandered off from my Mom at the local Walmart. It's one of the very very few memories I can recall from that young age. Panic set in and obviously I lost my SHHH...crap as any small child would in that situation. I was terrified that I had been abandoned. Thankfully, a kind worker took me to the service desk and called for the parent of Kelley to come to the service desk. Mom was there in a matter of seconds. She picked me up off the counter, hugged me tight and reassured me she would never leave me.
Sad reality, folks...it took me a couple more times of wandering away before I learned my lesson. Each time Mom would be right there with the hug, the love and reassurance. What can I say, I get distracted easily and Mom had 3 other girls she was trying to keep up with.
As an adult, one of the hardest battles I've had to fight was my fear of abandonment. The feeling sat heavy on my chest during my divorce. Instead of running to Jesus, I ran from him. I was hurt and big big mad. I didn't know how to talk to him, what I'd even say and I wasn't about to sit in a church with a bunch of hypocritical so called Christians. Even though I was running, he never once left my side. Instead, he sent me regular God fearing human beings like you to minister to me. He sent my Mom to protect me and hold me. He also sent a few divinely selected friends and aquaintances with the capacity, strength and biblical knowledge to walk me through that process.
Dang...he's so cool like that. It took me some time to see his hand in everything. The realization of him always being by my side, orchestrating events is so precious. I am so undeserving of his love and willingness to walk with me every step I take. And just as Mom did, he's always reminding me how loved I am. He is gentle with his reassurance and gives it so generously.
The fear of being abandoned isn't part of my reality any more. People leave, situations change, jobs end...but Jesus...he's eternal...forever and ever ya'll. It's that simple but oh so precious!
Love,
Kelley
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