A Control Freak's Guide to Letting Go

Tyrant, Dictator, Drill-Sergeant, Bossy Betty...you name it, I've been called it plus worse....  Bottom line, I'm a recovering CONTROL FREAK.   I don't know where the need to control everything came from.  Maybe it's just how I'm hard-wired or the byproduct of something that happened in my past. What I know for certain is I do not want to continue to be this person. 

I've tried controlling the narrative in situations for as long as I can remember.  From grade school until recently, when things got tough, I'd spring into "boss lady" mode (that's what I call it) and solve the problem.  I've always considered myself a great "problem solver".  You got a problem, I got the solution.  That worked great until it didn't.  

The revelation of being controlling was a bitter pill to swallow.  That need to take charge of EVERYTHING had created rifts in the relationships I had with my siblings, children, friends and more.  I knew I had to change for sake of my relationships and for my health because it also caused unnecessary stress and anxiety.

I'm nothing if not transparent...I still have the "control freak" monkey on my back, but I'm working on it.  I'm far from perfect and I humbly own my imperfections.  Thankfully, I may not have fully broken free of this chain (just yet), but I know a Guy who can and will deliver me.  I thank our Father for being patient with us when he knows we are trying our best to remove the things within us that are not of him.  He's extended grace, strength to apologize for past actions and help mend broken relationships because of my controlling nature. He has had his fair share of "coming to Jesus meetings" with me, too.  I really don't like those meetings...but I need and deserve all the fatherly corrections he gives me. 

If you struggle with similar afflictions like pride, envy, fear, worry, lust, anger or even CONTROL, God wants you to break free from those chains.  And guess what...YOU'RE NEVER ALONE IN THE BATTLE! I love our Heavenly Father so much because he is so forgiving, patient and compassionate.  He's perfect, we aren't and he knows that. He's even provided us with the master plan for our lives to help us along the way in the bible.  When I feel the urge to take control of a situation I remind myself that God's in Control, His Way before Mine, His Will before Mine.  Let's face it, his will for me will be far greater than anything I can manipulate by controlling the narrative.